Burying the TMI

So this is happening next weekend and I'm pretty psyched. Well, it doesn't hurt that it's about two blocks from my house and Angela, the owner of Post 27 (I have a crazy crush on her shop...see her bad ass house here) threw this whole thing together. It's kind of a well-kept secret, but Grand Ave has all of these wonderful interiors and design shops popping up between Ashland and Damen. SG Grand has also opened up shop right across the street from Post 27. You can see all of the stores and vendors on this handy map, actually. Oh yeah, beer and bands can't really hurt either. I'm going to be there. Will you?

So...What else, what else?

Oh yeah, so a bit ago, Marc is a champ and went to the store and bought tampons for me. He said some lady, like, six people in line behind him started hollering at him and being all, "You are BRAVE! You are such a NICE GUY!" Oh, what I would have paid to see the shade of his neck and ears when that went down. Anyway, so nice gesture and all, but he comes home with these Playtex Sports tampons, which I've not only never heard of, but me and sports? Is he trying to say something about my languishing gym membership here?

So these are the strangest lady products ever for several reasons:
1. They're NEON colors. As in those pink and green bicycle shorts people wore in the early 90s.

2. A selling point on the box is that the wrappers are quiet. Is this a thing people are worried about? I've never thought about feminine hygiene products and wondered when in thee world science come through with something that isn't so damn LOUD. Honestly, someone explain this to me in the comments, please.

3. And this is by far the weirdest: The wrappers all have inspirational sayings on them. Such as: "Declare yourself a winner" and "Make your workout count." Oh and seriously: "PMS=Play more sports." Um, are you kidding me? It's like feminine hygiene meets fortune cookies. Except they should really say something like, "You will inexplicably burst into tears while watching an Empire Carpet commercial." or "Of course bloating is the only thing keeping you out of those jeans.Why don't you just try some yoga pants instead?"

Ahh, to be on the marketing team that came up with this. So what say you? Would you look at these wrappers and be all, "Yeah! Spice up Your Life. I'm going to go play volleyball now!" Am I just not that kind of girl? It seems to me, these are the loudest "quiet" tampon wrappers on the planet.