Some things

Gizang* (of 81...that's inmazing--that means inconceivably amazing--I will be sending a present to my 100th follower), I've been working on a post that's been chilling in my drafts for about three weeks now and I can't seem to get myself to finish it, Mortal Kombat style.

It's not like it's some epically awesome or even personally wrenching post. It just involves a lot of copying and pasting and is actually about design and interiors and stuff that actually fits into the format of the current incarnation of this blog. But it's just taking me my sweet-ass time for some reason. Maybe I need to stop cruising around the block in my Caravan, trying to start some fringe religion--because hey! I have the church bus all ready, so why not? That will solve my airbrush conundrum.#

* Speaking of copying and pasting...I looked up and had originally written "prize for my 100th follower" and decided I wanted to change it to "present for my 100th follower" since it's not like this blog is a sweepstakes and the "iz" in prize somehow got copied into the opening word of this post, thus altering "Gang" into "Gizang," which I like and am keeping.

ANYWAY

So here's some things in lieu of my real post:

1. Thanks so much everyone for your words of encouragement for Harvey. I read every one of your comments to him**, and he appreciated it so much, he didn't even lick his ass the whole time I was reading it to him. I took him back to the vet on Tuesday, and even though he's feeling much better, he's now on two more meds (For those keeping score at home, that's three pills, two types of eye drops and one type of powder. One of my co-workers said with all these lame drugs lying around, it's like I live with a really shitty band.)

2. If I were a fairy (faerie?) and left magic dust wherever I went, in addition to rainbow glitter, mine would be littered with bobby pins and clear hair ties. They're all over our house....Marc opened a book last night and a couple of each fell out and I swear I found two bobby pins in the dishwasher this morning.

3. After almost choking on a hard-boiled egg earlier this week, I'm pretty sure that's how I'm going to die when I'm home alone and left with my own devices. Remember when that lady died on Six Feet Under when she choked on her dinner? And Miranda on Sex and the City also almost did eating Chinese food? That's going to be me. Also, what was the deal with early-aughts HBO shows being obsessed with single ladies choking? And with shows that started with S-x?

ANYWAY ANYWAY

My situation is only made worse by my nightly ritual of slathering lotion on my raptor-claw dry hands and then deciding that my lips also deserve to be as adequately lubricated. Once my hands are all lotioned up, there's no way I can pry off the top of any sort of lip balm, so I end up violently biting the lid off in frustration and almost swallowing it in the process. Now I'm paralyzed by the vision of Marc snoozing away in the room next door while I stagger around the bathroom clawing at my throat and desperately trying to give myself the Heimlich but our counter is too low and I keel over and conk my head on the toilet.

So yeah, maybe I should occupy my time and hands with writing that legit post instead of fretting about all this. Thanks for bearing with me.

# One of my friends dubbed the van "The Dreamcatcher," which I love. I think that name will inform what's airbrushed on the sides. But thanks from the bottom of my heart for your rad suggestions.

** This is a lie. I'm a crazy cat lady, but I'm not nuts enough to read blog comments to my cat. Yet. But seriously, thanks. It means a ton.

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society

Hello, yous!

I have been so absent and so inert when it comes to this blog (and wearing pants that don't have an elastic waist).

It's really interesting what having a job that requires you to make your own schedule does to you. On one hand, it's incredibly awesome. I can grab my computer the second I wake up and basically get going. No need (on some days) for pesky things like breakfast and the brushing of the teeth that comes after that. On the other hand, with so much freedom comes the danger of slacking on everything except work. Such as, ahem, blogging.

Now that I've sort of started to settle into things, I've found new ways to coach myself to live a more "normal" existence. It doesn't matter that my motivators are things like: "I need to get dressed so the UPS guy doesn't see me in these red pajama pants three days in a row." and "I need to go out and run some errands so I have stories to tell Marc when he comes home that aren't an hour-by-hour rundown of the cats' napping schedules." Hence, the blogging again.

Plus, I've started going on appointments and meeting my clients, which is so very fun. I basically get to visit people in their awesome shops or studios, learn what they're all about and find ways to help them.

So anyway, thanks everyone for being patient with me and my inertia. Would you believe I still haven't gone to Steak N' Shake to fetch my camera? But hey, at least I'm all showered up today.

OH, and I almost forgot about the title of this grovel-y post! So, Marc was out of town this weekend, and I'm a total baby about sleeping in an empty apartment. It was bad enough that I'd just finished re-reading World War Z last week. I was up every hour listening for creaks and moan. BUT, I was wise enough to opt not to watch a movie about zombie Nazis. Instead I got my spooks from running through old episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark?. Do you know most of that shit is up on Youtube? Oh, nostalgia!

Whoops

I forgot to blog. Holidays + houseguests + general life shake-ups have taken up big chunks of time.

But I'm here, keepin' on keepin' on/truckin'/it real.

And I promise to be back with actual interesting-ish content tomorrow.

In the meantime, why don't you tell us all a joke?

Rushing the season

Pardon the interruption, but I have to get a quick note out to my cat.

Dear Harvey,

You know I love you. But dude, you need to slow your roll. It's not even Thanksgiving yet.

It was sweet of you to leave three jawbreakers (Two red and one green, natch. You always have had fabulous color sense.) and one rock from the fireplace in my shoe. But St. Nicholas Day is, like, two weeks away.

Let's live in the now and enjoy the present like the gift it is, little guy. If you're really good and chill out a whole lot, maybe Santa Claws* will bring you a pillow with that very saying needlepointed on it.

And you can scratch it all to hell.

Love,
Me

* Why is my love of puns developing much faster than my overall maturity level?

Grinning skulls

We're in the homestretch! It's only 10 days to Halloween, my favorite holiday.

In honor, I'm going to try to treat you to a post a day that is at least tangentially related to the big day.

First up, the art of James Hopkins.



Prosperity and Decay and Consumption and Consequence, respectively.

"Hopkins’ work draws from the techniques of optical illusionism through which he involves viewers by teasing with their visual consciousness. His sculptures allude to Symbolist literature in their spin on decadence and the self-indulgence of dandy-ism: they recall the impermanence of objects and their persistence in memory, in a similar way Pop Art made use of iconic images derived from vain consumerism. His sculptures utilise everyday objects that are turned into impossible variations, even into sly commentaries of themselves." (Taken from maxwigram.com)


"...Hopkins rendered oversize Death's heads. These works are poetically succinct meditations on longed-for pasts and inevitable futures, the impermanence of objects and their persistence in memory. Prosperity and Decay (2006) operates similarly, but aligns itself more closely with Holbein's precedent, substituting middle-age, middle-class extravagances—a wine rack, bottles, and glasses; antique maps, clocks, mirrors, and a chess board; leather-bound literature and a violin—for the adolescent possessions used earlier. It is likewise a more subtle composition; whereas the earlier sculptures relied on tonal differences to outline the memento mori, this piece forces the viewer to navigate a complicated interplay of positive and negative space. Perhaps unwittingly, Hopkins has, by thinning out the arrangement, formally echoed his thematic concern; in the end, there will be nothing left to position on these shelves. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

(via On Decorum)

Back at the ranch...

Plants are taking over my house!

It's gotten cold enough to bring in all of the plants from outside. Well, any that the mangy squirrels in my neighborhood didn't eat. Bastards.


They also like to taunt the cats.

I'm realizing I have some BIG plants and not much natural light, so most of them are crowded around the one south-facing window in the living room like Dickensian street urchins begging for more gruel.


Hey! Let's be real cool and throw some in an old suitcase.


Have succulents, will travel.

More in the rarely-photographed office.


It's cozy but cave-like in there.

Will these plants make it to spring? Seriously, I don't know. I'm thinking about sending some of them to Indiana to live with grandma for a while. Unless anyone in Chicago wants to be a plant foster parent...

Goodbye, Summer

I miss you already.

Ooh Baby, baby! Ebay E-Baby

In an effort to hold up my end of the deal, here is an absolute hot mess of items that piqued my interest long enough to hit the "watch" button:



Vintage addition and subtraction flash cards. Love the scalloped edges. These would make sweet gift tags if you punched a hole in one corner. Wonder if they're big enough for postcards...hmmm.


Likewise with these German phrase flash cards. God only knows what they say...hope it's nice.



In keeping with the learnin' theme, this vintage French school poster is pretty dope (get it? dope? mushrooms? ugh, sorry).

Zut alors! More French stuff pour vous.
Well if it isn't a slightly rusty, slightly janky set of kitchen canisters!

Do you happen to go by these initials? Well, Have I got a Treat for you! Seriously, how cool would it be to have embroidered monogrammed tape? God! Why can't my name be Hiram Turtletaub!?!

Get in my bathroom.

Who said the Japanese had a monopoly on cute? Aww, you adorable mid-century Brits! Coochie coo!

Hanging up your clothes isn't rocket science.

Or is it?

Speaking of science. Better get on this one. The listing ends in just a couple of hours.

And for the department of WTF...


Hairspray holders exist?!? Well my Aunt Sally!

This is why we can't have nice things

Normally, I'm all about throwing things together willy-nilly when it comes to decorating my house. You kind of have to be when you're pretty much just buying secondhand and things are catch as catch can. I mean, if I buy it I like it, so new-to-me finds will get in where they fit in, right?

And I'm not into that whole super-perfect pristine look anyway. So no problems here--you'd think.

Except when you do get that perfect, pristine piece. Yes, yes, I'm so sorry to drag us back into the kitchen.

Now that I have my dream kitchen table, the one I would choose over an engagement ring if given the choice (hey, it's basically a big, round rock), I am having the worst time handling it. No chairs I've found seem to fit: they're too design-y and take away from the table or they're too plain and the table only brings that out, or chairs with arms look far to gangly, except I like chairs with arms, etc. etc.

I don't think I'm cut out for nice stuff, people. It's especially frustrating that I can't get it right when there are posts dedicated to the damn table's versatility.

This one, from the wonderful A Mad Tea Party with Alis even includes super-handy diagrams of high and low chair options:


Clearly, I need to get it together. So far, the one chair I've definitively wanted was this: And I'm bummed because a restaurant near my house has a bunch of these that came with the building when they bought it and they won't sell me two.

Which is well within their rights. As is it within mine to scowl in the restaurant's general direction every time I pass by.

But that doesn't make me want them any less. Quite the contrary--I'm getting even more fixated on them, which goes against the grain of my thrifting easy-come, easy-go ways.

Maybe it's time to take a little retreat with the sitter's bible

And kick back with an all-star team of fantastic, mismatched chairs You know, really get my head on straight.

It's that or the table goes.


Just kidding (mostly).

Putting the kitchen in the hot seat

I have big dreams for our little kitchen. Please join me on a little free-form musing of what I think could work...

Don't get me wrong; it's a nice place with way more cabinet space than I've ever been used to (not dividing it among three roommates helps) and--gasp!--it even has a pantry!

(Pictures as it was with the previous owner)

There's a lot to love about it: hardwood floors, inoffensive black granite counter tops, decent appliances, enough room for a table. Nothing really to complain about at all.

And yet.

Ehh, I think it's sort of long on potential and short on character.

Here's what I'm thinking.

That's the table we have in place now. And that light fixture is not cutting it at all. Since I didn't win Atomic Indy's Rejuvenation contest (weep, weep), I don't think this fixture is in our future:It's gorgeous, but maybe a bit on the expensive side.

I'm looking for something like this...but I turned up NOTHING in my three-minute online search. Thanks for nothing, Internet.

Help, please! Anything awesome and mod and ORANGE would be perfecto.

Why orange? Well, because I'm in love with this wallpaper:

Matchsticks Circles by Graham and Brown. It's an official obsession, and I'd love to see it on the walls behind the table and quite possibly on the one behind the cabinets on the right side of the kitchen (feel free to lobby for this in the comments. While Marc is cool with the actual wallpaper, he isn't so sold on the actual purchasing and hanging that comes with picking it out).

On to the rest.

The cabinets are nice and all. Even if they're not exactly my cup of tea, there's really no way to justify replacing them. Maybe a face lift with these Hygge and West ceramic knobs would be nice:

In the mix we have our teal and walnut chairs. Will that work with all the orange, I'm wondering?

Here, I made this. Print it out and hang it on your fridge.

We actually have those orange chairs. Right now they're in the office, but I'm not averse to hustling them out into the kitchen.

But I don't know. Would they fight with the table? Would four chairs with arms be too much? Would old tealies need to take a hike into the office?

Ok, so now maybe that's orange overload? I don't know.

Would a black pendant be cooler?

Probably.

So that turned into a lot of musing. And more than a little anxiety. HELP!

Ok, kids. Here's a recap of my burning questions. They will be on the test.

1. Scrimp and save for Rejuvenation glory (which means that nasty white thing is there for probably a year)? Or hunt for mod orange? Or go sophisticated (and affordable) with black?

2. Are we ok with the wallpaper? If so, which walls?

3. Knobs? Actually, I don't really care what you say. I love them. So there. To tell the truth, the same kind of goes for the wallpaper. See? I have way fewer questions than it initially seems.

4. Chairs? Orange? Teal? Neither. This one is really getting to me.

More 4 AM sounds

I've known for a long time that people do strange things in their sleep, but until recently, I wasn't aware it was possible that someone's snore could sound JUST LIKE someone sucking carbonated water through a straw. Amazing!

Purple. Plastic. Delicious.

Just wondering.

What makes a cat think that leftover Easter basket grass is a good snack to bring to bed at 4 AM??? Or ever, for that matter? It can't taste good.

I can't get that slithery "schaap, schaap, schapp" sound of him chewing out of my head...